11 Greeting Card Universe

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I’ve been autograph balladry anytime aback I aboriginal apprehend Dr. Seuss. My admired Dr. Seuss book was On Above Zebra! It posits a alternation of fabricated belletrist above the accepted alphabet: belletrist like floob, yuzz, quan, and thnad. And again anniversary letter goes on to allegorize an abstract beastly (“Floob is for Floobooberbabooberbubs”). In that book, aggregate seemed to dance: language, letters, alike the absolute abstraction of nature. It’s the alone Dr. Seuss book I bethink befitting with me as I fell asleep, aback in kindergarten. You could say it was the aboriginal time I apprehend a concordance for fun.

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Then in academy at the University of Arizona, I suddenly, oddly, developed a addiction I’d never apparent before: I would appear into chic twenty account aboriginal aback no one was there and anonymously address a composition on the lath about whatever we were studying. Aback my undergraduate English chic apprehend Crime and Punishment, I wrote:

Higglevich-Pigglevich,Rodya RaskolnikovAxed an old woman whoDidn’t belong.After continued capacity ofPsychoanalysis,He concludes, finally,”Murder is wrong.”

And aback my Reformation chic advised a decidedly austere affiliate in medieval German history, I wrote:

Imperial taxes had jolted,And Prince Maximilian had bolted.While trapped on worse land,Things got out of duke –And that’s why the Peasants Revolted.

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I couldn’t advice it. The words seemed to beg to be played with, and there was no added area to allotment my creations in already they were finished. It’s not like anyone publishes this actuality anymore. It was fun to amplitude my academician and appear up with a antic about premodern literature* and again allotment it as an central antic with bodies who would absolutely get it. For those few years area I had a approved alibi to address it, activity had been thrilling.

But aback I accelerating with an MFA in fiction and looked around, I asked the universe, Area can I get a job autograph asinine poems? And the cosmos had answered, Unless you can time-travel aback to the thirties and annihilate Ogden Nash and booty his place, you’re apparently out of luck. Try to adore a long, dull activity of Plan B.

Now I aback had a new answer. Hallmark, eh? So that was on the one hand. On the other, I accomplished that alike in this simple act — airing beyond campus and say hi to some Hallmark rep — I had to face my own affliction enemies: my academician and my will, both of whom were agnostic of advance alike this abundant effort. My activity up to this point had accomplished me two things: (1) All jobs are agonizingly, intolerably arid except the job of autograph (either belief or puzzles); and (2) It’s cool to accomplish money autograph belief or puzzles. Puzzles in accurate were impossible. From the three accompany of abundance who accept done it, I apperceive you accept to be a amalgam ability and an entrepreneur, and I’m alone competent and afraid to hustle.

But alike in autograph belief for money, the way I was told to go about it was to abide to baby nonpaying arcane magazines, again get abundant appear that you could get a adventure accumulating with a baby press, and again — on the base of that or of whatever small-press atypical came abutting — get a teaching job at some abstruse academy no one abundant cared for. Yet alike this simple plan seemed impossible. I could about administer to abide ten copies of a adventure and accelerate them off to assorted magazines (writing a altered awning letter every time, authoritative abiding you got the editor’s name right, including the SASE that was appropriately weighted, etc.). Aloof cerebration about it fabricated my limbs heavy, and my academician gasped for annihilation added agitative to absorb it. Mailing off belief complex absolute suffering. And for what? For ten rejections to crawl in over the abutting nine months. And alike if I fabricated it (I’d succeeded already in the six accumulation mailings I’d managed to accept through), you got no money and no one noticed you were in this brainless annual that alone added MFA acceptance had anytime heard of. You were declared to do years of this. I could about handle it for two hours.

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“Shine like the whole universe is yours | greeting card universe

With this as my background, the abstraction of applying for a job with an absolutely fun aggregation anybody capital to accompany seemed absolutely absurd. No one gets lucky. That’s not how the apple works.

But four things pushed me advanced that day. The aboriginal was the actuality that there’d be an absolute Hallmark adumbrative present. I’ve consistently despaired of anytime impressing anyone with my resume and my autograph so far had gotten about no attention. But I apperceive that in actuality I’m charming. It’s what I’ve counted on my accomplished activity to get me out of agitation for actuality late, or for apathy assignments, or for all the added difficulties that my absent academician gets me into. Bodies are about acceptant to my jokes and my affable nature, as continued as they aren’t humorless appointment administrator types.

The additional was that I had aloof appear up with this abstraction for a atypical set at a greeting agenda aggregation (Strange Greetings), which was basically an alibi for me to exercise my MFA and address funny balladry in a assignment of declared literature. I’d formed out the characters and the asperous plot, but I didn’t apperceive what a agenda aggregation was absolutely like. I figured, then, that alike if I went to this affair and cipher there admired me, I could still accommodated an absolute greeting agenda agent and ask some questions by way of research.

The third affair — minor, but there — was that I was starting to apprehend rumors about the appointment that our arrangement with the government ability not get renewed. Possibly all of PREVENT could be let go and I’d be affected already added into a assignment ambiance that seemed bare of the aegis that comes from dating the boss’s daughter. I’d absolutely accept to assignment adamantine at some asinine job that I knew I’d hate, for as abounding as eight hours a day. This was so appalling a achievability that I didn’t alike cartel to booty the rumors seriously. But aloof in case, why not say hi to Hallmark?

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Greeting Card Universe – Any Card Imaginable – monthly cards .. | greeting card universe

Fourth and finally: no amount what happened, it would accomplish a acceptable adventure for aback I alleged Jane that night. Alike aback she was in addition state, I begin her alarming me to do things I’d never accept approved on my own.

*Shakespeare,It’s claimed by some, was absolutely Ed de Vere,While others vote for Bacon. But I sayWhatever acknowledgment helps get me an A.

Reprinted from House of Cards: Love, Faith, and Added Social Expressions: A Memoir by David Ellis Dickerson with permission from Riverhead, a affiliate of The Penguin Group (USA) Inc. Copyright (c) 2009 by David Ellis Dickerson

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